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Discipline - Be Clear, Be Firm, Be Consistent
A Structured Routine on How to Discipline your kids
Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.
How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:
Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.
It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.
It isn't about maybe this or maybe that.
Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner's help in this.
"We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes", is clear and direct. Follow this with,
"Please help me tidy up your toys now" and it means just that.
Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn't mean soon, or later, but now.
I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine. What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?
How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:
Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.
Clarify for your self what being firm means.
To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm.
It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It's about now being now. How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.
Resolve within yourself and with your partner's help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself.
It is every child's right to KNOW they can trust their parent's boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline.
"It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes" is a clear direction. Now follow through on this.
Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.
How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:
Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach.
Clarify for yourself what being consistent means.
To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant.
These words immediately convey comfort don't they?
Let's look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That's definitely lacking in comfort and safety.
So how do you want to be seen by your children?
To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.
Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves.
The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning.
This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.
Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones?
Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.
This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.
by: Helen Williams
Dr Turecki is a respected authority and expert on child discipline. This book offers practical help and advice to the parents of difficult children. The book begins by defining a difficult child and there is a ten point check list to help parents identify the specific problems of their child. There are various chapters on different areas of conflict and he offers excellent advice to parents on how to deal with each particular problem. These include temper tantrums, problems with food, bedtime problems. Bad behaviour & attention seeking, disruptive behaviour etc. He advocates through kindness a firm and sensible approach to all these problems. He believes in effective discipline and not punishment. The book is full of excellent and sensible advice. He devotes a chapter to practical advice to parents on how to get help from school the GP etc. His chapter on Attention Deficit Disorder is very good indeed and he discusses at some length the pros and cons of medication for children. In part 2 of the book he suggests a program for the parents to help them deal with the difficult child from infancy onwards. The book also contains very good advice for all the family; this book features simple and easy to understand language. Clearly defined chapters with ease of reference. The ten point check list is an excellent feature of this book. It is a very practical book with sensible advice. This book would benefit almost all parents as at some stage or another children go through difficult phases and it is very hard for a parent to know, what the problem is or how to resolve it. It would be of particular benefit to the thoughtful parent who wishes to find alternatives to discipline and better understanding of the Childs perspective.
It do not matter if you have a pre-teen or a teenager, there is no need to allow them to drive you round the bend, unless you get profession help it will not get better. This e-book will put you back in control, and show you the green light. Can be downloaded, in just a few minutes. My out of control Teen and to join the online parent support cost a one-time payment of $19.99 and will be a big relief to you
This book teaches parents How To Be Good Disciplinarians, it shows you the skills in how to get to that goal to be a good parent. It teaches you what to do when your child misbehaves in the super market i.e. Give child a responsibility (Match coupons with the labels, Ignore inappropriate behaviour unless it is dangerous, Play a game with the child (Let's count all the people who are wearing black shoes),if a very young child give them something of yours to play with, like your keys. And the list go’ s on with many tips on Discipline Techniques that Work also How to Stop Misbehaviour in the Classroom How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem Positive Ways to Encourage Children's Growth A very good guide to parenting skills. This book is a very good tool which can be used for children from birth to their teens. About the Author Katharine C. Kersey is a professor and chairperson of the Department of Child Studies and Special Education of Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA. She writes a weekly parenting column for the Virginia-Pilot and Ledger Star and the Roanoke Times, as well as the Dear Zoom column for children. She is also the author of The Art of Sensitive Parenting and Helping Your Child Handle Stress.
Do you feel you are not doing a very good job at this parenting business? Well you are far from being alone, many parents feel frustrated as they think they have tried everything and had little success. The simple answer is, you do not have the right tools for the job, or the right kind of support to make parenting a happy event.
USA
Laura Bark is a renowned professor and researcher and this book is considered the gold standard in books on child development. It is a complete and comprehensive guide on all aspects of child development. The book covers all aspects of child development including biology genetics the environment, education health social issues the media, television computers etc. Throughout the book she takes the reader through each aspect of the development and the impact each of the above has on the development of the child and how this relates to the physical, cognitive emotional and social development of the child. She begins with the development of the brain and physical development also factors which affect growth all the way through to puberty. She discusses intelligence and language development, personality and social development through to emotional development Identity and self. She progresses to discussing moral development sex and gender. Her discuses peer pressure, the media and schooling. This book features all aspects of child development in great detail and although it is over 700 a page long it is written very well and is easy to read. She presents both classic and newly developed theories on child development. It is also very well researched as is demonstrated in each chapter. There is a summary at the end of each chapter. This book would benefit anyone who wished to have a comprehensive understanding of child development, from the professional to the lay person. It would be of particular benefit to students who are studying almost any aspect of childhood or childcare. This book is a must for anyone studying ECE or for those teaching children and wish to know more about Child development.
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Children's Developmental Progress By Mary D. Sheridan. This book has been in continuous print for 40 years Mary D Sheridan is very highly respected in her field. The book covers every stage of normal development from birth to five years. The book is laid out in three sections Section 1 deals with development charts and progress checks. Section 2 deals with patterns of development including motor skills, hearing and communication skills. In section 1 she clearly explains what the baby would normally be doing regarding sleeping, crying wakefulness at each stage of their development. She also explains the physical development of the child including posture and movement. This book is a comprehensive guide to a Childs development. It is very well illustrated with 120 line drawings. She points out and reassures the reader that the charts are a guideline only and that normal child development may vary. The book features simple language and easy reference with a reassuring no nonsense approach to child development, and behaviour. This book would be of benefit to first time parents who have no experience or knowledge of babies. The charts are simple and straightforward, very easy to follow and understand.
Click Here! For help if your Teen is out of control
This is the best bible any parent could wish to have; it could be there life saver, their best friend. It’s designed to bring parents down to a child’s level, to get them to understand just how a child thinks, and to get children to the level of adults, so they can meet at a happy crossroads which will lead to a happy home. This book will give parents the skills to communicate more effectively with their children and just about everyone else in their life. It shows how to treat people with respect, and understanding and not deny their emotions. This book also talks about giving praise and recognition. There is a very good help Index, to just about every problem you can think of, easy to reference to. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have done an excellent job of writing this bestseller book which has sold over 2 million copies
By Thomas W. Phelam This book is not magic but a lot of parent just might think it is. Part of what Thomas Phelan's now very well known system work is that, whether one is cooking rice or disciplining children, it's essential to have a method, and that's where this book starts, you have to have a method. The simpler the better. All effective methods rely first and foremost on how to guide us away from reactive and emotionally-based behaviours and keep us on the proper path. No yelling our self's, not too much talking or too much emotion. This is the Magic key to understanding why this method is so effective. There is a whole chapter dealing with what to do in public? And basically what he says you have to bite the bullet and realise your Childs character is more important than your embarrassment. The book also covers home work, active listening, self-esteem and many solid handy tips that actually work and work well. Children will test their parents, and if they realise you are vulnerable in public you have lost the advantage. This book put you in control. Thomas Phelam has this book well polished from many years work with children and has all the areas covered even the tricky bits. It shows how parents can effectively discipline their children without Yelling at them. The book also covers home work, active listening, self-esteem and many solid handy tips that actually work and work well. This book is very well worth getting hold of, or if you drive listen to on cassette or CD All Editions
By Ruth Peters A readable, sensible guide, to parenting. If you have any uncertainties about parenting, then this is the book for you. We spend hours, days, and even weeks, poring over books to choose a name for baby but we do not spend much time to discuss or read about disciplinary tactics. Parents have their specific ideas on how they want their children to progress through school- but they do not often focus on the specific day to day behaviour of their children, until they one day realise junior is the boss in the house. Caring, loving, parents will often give unconditional gifts, to avoid a conflict, most parents do not want getting into a shouting match, and take the easy way out , but this is not in the child’s best long term interest. The real world will not give into screaming tantrums and demanding behaviour. Childhood is the training school for your child's character, and temperament, there whole future is at stake right here in the home. It is down to the parents to lead their child along a straight path. It’s the parents job to teach their children from the very start of their life’s. If this stage is set in the early part of a Childs life then by the time they go to middle school all the hard work will have been done. Children who are well disciplined have more self control, and are more self disciplined and productive, which generally make them do better at school. But the seeds have to be sown early, and this in turn, gives you an easy life and a joy to see your children grow up into adults. Children are much happier when they are disciplined, they know exactly where they stand, they know and understand the rules, and this makes a happy family. A very good book by Dr Ruth Peters who has treated children and adolescents in private practise for over twenty years, she is a mother herself of two children
is a five star well written easy to follow instruction book on parenting tips for when your baby becomes a teenager. Whether it’s just that you have an untidy child, or they will not do as they are told, or more serious problems like issues with drugs or sex, this book deals with it in easy to follow and understand techniques on basic parenting philosophy
